tirsdag 15. februar 2011

人不为己, 天诛地灭

太忙, 没时间写. 但一定要记下来.

以前我不信, 但现在.......


愤怒, 但无从发泄.

Ok, just for the record.
When Terry was born, we chose a one time cash support instead of taking out maternity leave since Coco does not have a job and she would be able to take care of Terry at home.

Who would have guessed, Coco got a job when Terry is 6 months old, but still good since my mom is here and she could take care of Terry.

Who would have guessed, my mom also got a job as a supermarket worker. I offered to cover her salary loss if she could just hold off a few months for looking for a job. Since Terry can go to daycare in August, mother-in-law is on the way, waiting for the visa to be granted. She refused, thus this post. Her reason, she has to watch out for herself.

She has no income, no money, she worked her whole life with a man who now hogs all the money. 9000NOK a month, and my mom has to use her savings to pay for the electricity, food, internet and other related fees.

I give my mom 5000NOK a month, but since she is now in Norway, the money is used to rent her a place. Here and there I give her extra and I cover mainly all her food and transport expenses. Though not much in surplus on buying other stuff.

My sister is still working on her stupid thesis, the same thesis she had been working on for 3 years. She has now been in her ph.D program for 5 years now, fulltime. To claim that she has to focus on her thesis. She refused to do even a part-time job to help out the expenses. While she spends her time partying, or in her own definition "building up her network".

So in order to compensate the absense of my mom, a friend offered to take care of Terry, I am very grateful. Not that I am not grateful for my mom to take care of Terry for that one month, but I frankly was not expect her to take a supermarket job for taking care of Terry.

It didn't work out too well at the friend's place. Terry cried all morning and my friend has a 2 month old son herself, so she bowed out after 2 days.

Without any other options and the approval for my mother-in-law's visa to come to Norway nowhere in sight, I had to arranged for a flexible work schedule with both my day job and at the restaurant. While Coco is at work, I would be at home to take care of Terry, and I would go to work before and after the normal business hours (Thank god I am a consultant and can be flexible like that, otherwise...). I would go to the restaurant during weekends. As a desperate effort, we also applied for a travel visa for Coco's cousin to come since it takes a lot less time to apply for such visa.

It went 2 days and I am about to snap due to exhaustion. Then my mom called me and said that she had quit her job and now she is back to watch over Terry, and my life is somewhat back to normal. I am still exhuasted due to me falling behind at work and have to do some catchup, but nonetheless it was a relief.

3 weeks past and now both mother-in-law and cousin-in-law got their visa approval and they are coming here tomorrow. To compensate for my mom, I will find her a job.

Problem solved, sort of.

The gap between me and my dad just grew that much further.

4 kommentarer:

肥貓 sa...



不過最近看到一個新聞, 主人翁能為別人附出大半生, 令我是很感動.

laulong sa...



Desertfox sa...


世界变了, 无私的人反而变得稀有.


是孩子的事情, 没有找到人可以看小孩, 我妈不愿意. 一个朋友看了两天然后说看不来. 自问朋友有事的时候我都是能帮的帮, 不能帮的替当事人想办法. 但自己有麻烦的时候, 都只有自己才可以解决.

我现在只能早上六点半到八点半, 和晚上六点到十二点上班. 其他的时候我自己带孩子.

laulong sa...